Would you pay $5,000 for a battle couch?

Posted by on February 23, 2016

crustcouchWhile it’s not exactly a new trend, metal has made it’s way into fashion. Whether it’s Chris Brown, Rihanna or Kanye West, there’s no shortage of artists co-opting metal culture to make a statement. Generally that statement is “I have a stylist that’s a metalhead,” but that’s beside the point. Hell, even a stolen battle vest made its way to a Macy’s display and in headlines around the world. The thing is, all of those things are wearable. Metal Injection just found an Etsy page that’s, well, ridiculous. For prices starting at $5,000, you can buy a “crust couch” that’s got metal and punk patches sewed on to it. Like a really classy version of a couch at a band rehearsal studio or a battle vest that’s actually a battle couch, UV Production House is selling the couches at 60, 96 and 120 inches at prices that go up to $10,000.

Either this is an elaborate prank, high art or some combination of both. Given that they also offer a $2,200 bird feeder and plenty of other dumb, semi-functional things, if you’re filthy rich and want a conversation piece that you can also sit on, have at it. We’re thinking this might be a highbrow response to the aforementioned co-opting of metal culture. Or maybe they’re serious. They describe the couch as “a respectfully sclupture made by modern artists,” which isn’t even a sentence. But if you’ve already laid down $2,000 for a “conflict free environmentally sourced lip wedding ring,” what’s another $5,000?


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