Ever wondered what it would be like to get a blowjob from Gene Simmons? Wonder no more. The second generation of KISS Kondoms have rolled out (jokes!), and they’re absolutely revolting. Graphic Armor have unveiled the new jimmy hats (do people still say jimmy hats?) that feature the world’s first FDA approved “Picture Condoms.” What does that mean? Well in this case, it’s a graphic of Gene Simmons’ tongue running down the length of the condom. Yeah, that’s right, if you’re a KISS fan, you can have Gene’s tongue running up your shaft, which to me sounds like the definition of a total boner-killer.
“I can think of no better way to introduce what may be the last frontier of advertising — the world’s first approved Picture Condoms with an illustration on the actual latex,” retailer Condomania founder/CEO Alan Glickman said in a press release. ” Gene, Paul and KISS have a well-documented history of breaking new ground in marketing. With Gene’s tongue leading the way once again, I am confident we are about to see an explosion of marketing messages and logos adorned across millions of condoms — and the men that wear them and women that, well, receive them — around the world.”
More of a Paul Stanley fan? You’ll have to wait until June, when the “Studded Paul” textured condom is released. As for Ace and Peter, there’s no plans for them to be emblazoned on rubbers anytime soon, but they’ve been getting fucked without condoms by KISS for years. If you want to get your hands on these, you can order them here.
