And this is why we can’t have nice things! Apparently, the movie theater I saw the Big Four screening in was one of the more sedate of the 450 theaters showing it. According to the Daily Herald (via Blabbermouth) police were called to a Batavia, Illinois theater at 11:21 p.m. on Tuesday after the crowd got a little unruly. Apparently, drunk moviegoers broke at least one seat, broke armrests on others, and put a small hole in the screen. Theater managers  said that people were drinking alcohol (duh!) and illicitly videotaping the broadcast (double duh!), and officers reported seeing “a large amount” of alcohol containers (triple duh!) at the theater.

Police stopped the broadcast and told everyone to leave. Once outside the theater, they were given refunds. So wait – I paid $18 to see the broadcast, drank, watched the movie, didn’t punch anything, and saw a few people stand up and headbang. These bastards went apeshit, got kicked out of the theater about 5 minutes before the concert wound down, AND GOT REFUNDS?! There weren’t even any arrests! Theater manager Melissa Recar called it “a small disturbance” and “nothing major.” I mean, the crowd had probably already seen the all star (minus Slayer) jam of “Am I Evil.” What more was there? That’s a moviegoing win as far as I’m concerned.

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Bram Teitelman