Funny or Die. It’s usually a lot more towards “funny” than “die,” but that was before we saw their “Skymall for Hard-Ass Bands” that they put up today. It’s a reaction to the Misfits over-merchandising that’s resulted in a Glenn Danzig lawsuit against Jerry Only. Thinking that a Corrosion of Conformity pasta maker is only a little less incongruous than Ugg-inspired Misfit boots, the humor website has come up with seven fake products attached to metal bands.
Some aren’t that much of a stretch – for example, Slayer maxi-pads could co-exist alongside the band’s branded condoms (bonus points for the “raining blood” joke, guys). Most just don’t make sense, though. For example, Sepultura seems to be thrown in there just because they’re a popular heavy band, and it even uses the band’s ancient logo. And considering how branded Scion is with metal, it doesn’t make sense for car jokes to be made, especially since you can’t buy a car from Skymall anyway. Lastly, the fact that the image on the page is named “DeathMetalSkymall” suggests that at least one person involved with it doesn’t know their metal. We’re definitely overthinking it, but check the piece out here.
