The As I Lay Dying frenzy continues. Weeks ahead of the band’s new album, Through Storms Ahead, which arrived in November 2024 via Napalm Records, all members aside from Tim Lambesis left the group. While reasons behind the split appeared vague at the time, it was not until leaked footage showed an altercation between Lambesis and his now ex-wife Dany, making the reason behind the split a bit more clear. Lambesis later addressed on social media, citing As I Lay Dying will return with a new lineup and how his marriage became toxic, resulting in a divorce.
Kicking off 2025, Lambesis has broke his silence in a new interview featured in Justin Wenzel’s podcast, addressing how his relationship with Dany became toxic, how the members left, and more.
A few excerpts include,
Lambesis discussing how his relationship with Dany became unhealthy:
“I think it just really comes down to the amount of anxiety I had on a relationship level, that I just carried on a regular basis, of like, not understanding. I just don’t understand how you could be with a person and not be kind to them, and, like, really mess with my head to the point where I just would wake up with anxiety. I’d go to sleep with anxiety.
And to me, being that version of myself, it was inevitable I was going to push everybody else away, right? Because how do you how do you connect with a person that’s drowning in anxiety constantly, but won’t talk to you about it? I wasn’t going to talk about it, because I didn’t want to let anybody know how deeply unhealthy things were, because then they would tell me, I have to leave the relationship. But I wanted to find a way to fight and stay, right?
So, I just kept it in, kept it in, and they’re like, you know, people are just saying, like, ‘Tim‘s acting less and less like himself’, like, ‘I’m concerned, what is going on?’ I never yelled at anybody or argued with anybody, or we never had fights. It wasn’t like that. It was just like, from afar, they were like, ‘This dude just feels like he’s falling apart, like, what’s going on?’
And the irony is that the relationship ended — my relationship ended — at the same time that those guys sort of gave up, per se. I’m not blaming them, but the solution occurred at the same time that they felt like they no longer were… They didn’t want… They didn’t want to stick around, because they felt like there was no solution, right?”
Lambesis discussed why he decides to select unhealthy relationships:
“I think for people that are like ‘Ah man, this dude’s had every opportunity.’ I think that that’s a criticism that’s warranted. Because it’s like, man, I’ve had plenty of opportunities to take a step back and heal from that, but I never wanted to talk about it. Because I felt like, to some degree, there was this belief that if I try to say something… When you talk about somebody losing their kids, it’s natural to feel sympathy towards them, right?
And if I’m talking about something where [people will] feel like, ‘Oh, he’s trying to gain sympathy for how he feels’, or what he went through, then I know, for me, because I’m a public figure this, that’s a bad look, right? It’s like, oh, ‘that dude’s a narcissist’, or he’s trying to do whatever. So, I just I didn’t talk about it. I didn’t talk about it.
You know, 12 years ago is when I was arrested and in the last 12 years, I maybe talked, just acknowledged, that loss, like once or twice, very, very briefly. And avoiding that to me was a real problem. So I just can’t do anything but come out and say man, that’s the route that makes sense. But there’s something freeing in finally acknowledging that thing I didn’t want to talk about, or if I did talk about it once a year for a couple minutes, there’s something freeing about it. If it’s 12 years later and I gotta cry about it a 100 more times then that’s what I’ve gotta do.”
On As I Lay Dying’s new album and elaborating on the possible future:
“I don’t really want to talk about the details of that… I do feel like my task right now is to be further down this healing path, and when I’m there, I think it’s somewhat inevitable that I will… for people that like As I Lay Dying already, I may not win over new fans or whatever, but for people that are like ‘I wonder if the next As I Lay Dying album is going to be good?’ or if whatever he does next is going to be good, of course it’s going to be good if I just focus on my health and become the person that can create that and have a stable surrounding and good community around me, and that’s what’s gonna give it strength.
But I mean the musical creation has never been the difficult part for me. And that’s like a weird thing right? Like you recall record label people or booking agents and they’re like oh, “Well is Tim good at his job?” and they’re like, ‘Of course he’s good at his job, but he’s potentially a mess in other areas of life.’ So it’s like dude, my job is the least of my worries.”
Shortly after the interview was published, additional leaked footage surfaced. This time, it’s a thirty-second clip of two instances of Lambesis allegedly mistreating his dog. The clip can be seen via Vimeo.
Watch the full interview below:
Following the latest leaked video footage, Lambesis’ ex wife Dany has reappeared on Instagram and issued the below statement in response to everything that has transpired the last few months:
“I did not release the videos that have come out of Tim Lambesis. Not the ones that were released in November, nor the ones that were released today. Out of respect for me, I’m asking whoever is leaking videos to please stop.
I will no longer stay silent out of fear of Tim. The lies being told by him in his last statement and in this recent podcast are deliberate attempts to cover up the truth and play the victim, using typical DARVO tactics.
There was NEVER a domestic violence investigation against me, nor was there ever a restraining order placed against me. This is public information anyone can access online.
The videos that Tim claims to have of me
“abusing” him; are instances of self-defense and outbursts against his ongoing physical and mental abuse, and repeated infidelity with hundreds of people.
The statement I released on October 24th defending his abuse, was drafted up by him and his new “managers” to protect his career and public image. Which I have proof of.Tim has continuously tried to intimidate me, bribe me, and beg me to sign an NDA in our marriage settlement stating that I will never publicly talk about him, so that the truth will be buried when our divorce is finalized, which are all recorded conversations. I also have a recorded phone call from Tim a week ago, rationalizing, and explaining why he thinks we should get back together.
I refuse to let dishonesty overshadow the pain and trauma I have endured any longer. Not just to me, but to others close to this as well. This isn’t just about me anymore.
There is Tim’s version of why his ex band mates left AILD, and then there is the truth. There is no “irony” behind the timing of the dissolution of AILD, and our marriage.Towards the end of our relationship, Tim told me, “In psychology, when someone hears a story of abuse in a relationship from one person, they are more likely to believe that person’s version because they were the first to tell the story.” At the time, I didn’t fully understand what he meant, but it is very clear to me now.
The abusive, cheating, narcissist will try to destroy your life & your name with lies before you can shine light on the truth.
I am done being SILENT”
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