“Selfie Sticks: A Wart on Photography’s Proverbial Armpit” is how I would have probably titled any article I wrote on the topic when I first heard about the invention. The ridiculous cell phone attachment that allows you to take selfies from any angle without the downside of looking like you’re trying to take a selfie in the photo. It really is a testament (not the one we usually talk about on this site) to how far technology has progressed since the days of the “Myspace Photo.” Big festivals such as Coachella and Lollapalooza have even taken measures to ban them for safety concerns, and even Disney may be joining with similar policies soon.

Corey Taylor, frontman of Slipknot, and hater of all things… I’m just going to end that sentence there. He really doesn’t like selfie sticks, so much so that he’s willing to smack someone upside their dome piece with a cricket bat over it, or at least that’s what he’s claiming.

“Oh my fucking god, selfie sticks, fuck me. Whenever I see one, I’m like ‘seriously?! There’s a whole fucking industry making hundreds of thousand dollars probably every day just so we can take big fucking pictures of our own stupid faces?!’.”

“It’s a dumb invention. What the fuck is wrong with us?… The stuff that really pisses me off is, really, deep down, is not so much the trivial stuff – it’s the shit that they try and fucking con us with… I would find a baseball bat – or a cricket bat in England – and I would beat the living shit out of that person probably and then I would go to jail without even being the slightest bit fucking sorry. Cuff me up, officer! I’m not trying to run, is that the van? Ok, I’ll get myself in! Just get me the fuck out of here.”

Don’t get me wrong, I get it. I too pretend that I would violently accost people over stupid things. However, until you actually go through with this and head off to jail (and completely screw over your band in the process I might add), this just comes out as an aging metalhead spewing hot air because he didn’t think of this “dumb invention” himself and take that check to the bank. Sorry Corey, but not everybody has the privilege of finely tuned and scripted press shots.

In my opinion, the selfie stick is just a tripod that you don’t need to set up and a convenient way of getting around having to ask somebody to take a photo of you.

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