Essential Audiobooks for Metalheads
For those of us too busy to sit down and binge a book, there’s always the audiobook, and there’s no shortage of metal to be found here. For biographies and histories, the audiobook will probably feel more personal, engaging, and real than a stack of bound pages, so keep an eye out for anything narrated by the author. Full of history, triumph, tragedy, and the truth behind so many “unforeseen circumstances,” grab a drink and gather ’round for heavy metal storytime.
01) For the Sake of Heaviness: The History of Metal Blade Records, by Brian Slagel and Mark Eglinton; narrated by Brian Slagel and Jon Bush
Let’s ease into it a short one, some heavy metal history from the legend himself, Brian Slagel. Metal Blade is one of the most important metal record labels of all time, but not even Slagel could predict how it would evolve. Formed in LA in 1982, the same year as their East Coast counterparts Megaforce Records, Metal Blade was established to put out a one-off compilation called Metal Massacre, now solidified in history for featuring the first “official” recordings of Metallica. Slagel narrates the audiobook himself, with Armored Saint/ex-Anthrax vocalist Jon Bush narrating the passages and quotes from his peers in Metallica, Mercyful Fate, and almost every important band that has proudly displayed the Metal Blade logo. This is a short listen at around 4.5 hours, great for first-time listeners.
02) Confess, by Rob Halford with Ian Gittens; Narrated by Rob Halford
The one true Metal God himself narrates his life story, and of course, a ton of stories about the mighty Judas Priest. This is an absolute joy to listen to, not only for the content, but for Rob’s “black country yam-yam” accent. It’s not a biography of Judas Priest, and while that’s a huge part of the story, there are other books (official and otherwise) that go down that road. The spotlight here is on Rob, front and center. We’ve got stories from his days as a schoolboy to sleeping in the van with the band, becoming a legend, losing a lover, losing himself – and just as important, the journey he took to find himself again, reunite with Priest, and “scream his tits off” for the metal maniacs of the world. Rob does not hold anything back, and nothing is too taboo for him to cover here. The book also has a spiritual sequel, Biblical, in which Rob divides stories by specific subjects rather than a linear timeline – another fascinating listen for anyone who enjoyed the Confess.
03) Lords of Chaos: The Bloody Rise of the Satanic Metal Underground, by Michael Moynihan and Didrik Soderlind; narrated by Fred Berman
This book, like its subject matter, is imperfect – but that’s also where the beauty lies. While the narrative sometimes gets lost in long-winded rants on Varg Vikernes, what makes this book special is that it tells the story of the 90’s Norwegian Black Metal scene for what it really was: a bunch of stupid kids doing incredibly stupid, and very criminal things. It’s important to contextualize the absurdity of it all. Chaos, indeed, was the goal. This era of black metal reads like an episode of Metalocalypse, and there’s a reason so much of the fictional story of Dethklok is indeed inspired by these stories. Everyone was on a mission to be more metal, more raw, and more true than everyone else. A lot of very real damage was done, and while Norway now exports black metal like hotcakes, this book really demonstrates how deeply ingrained these events have become in Norwegian (and metal) history. For anyone just dipping their toes into black metal, consider this your first stop. (Nerd Alert: the narrator of this book, Fred Berman, hand-painted his own Screaming for Vengeance denim jacket back in ’82 – these days, you can find him performing in The Lion King on Broadway and hitting as many Maiden shows as he physically can).
04) I’m the Man: The Story of That Guy From Anthrax, by Scott Ian with Jon Wiederhorn; Narrated by Scott Ian
Scott Ian is a character – and this autobiography is absolutely charming. Scott sees the best in people and in situations, even when they aren’t so great, and his enthusiasm seeps through his narration in the audiobook. Of course, there’s a lot of good to talk about, and he gets into it – not least of which is the success and legacy of Anthrax. Some of the history here is super granular, isolated to very specific East Coast neighborhoods, so this is a really special listen for New Yorkers in particular. What I really enjoy most about this audiobook is that it really feels like you’re sitting down with Scott on a rainy afternoon, just chatting, like he’s known you for years. Like Rob Halford’s autobiography, he comes across as completely sincere, and the stories are legendary. Beyond Anthrax, stick around for stories about SOD, his impressions of his metal peers as he quotes them, and wisdom on enduring the rock and roll lifestyle.
05) What Does This Button Do? An Autobiography, by Bruce Dickinson; Narrated by Bruce Dickinson
Bruce Dickinson is a true Renaissance man – it seems there’s nothing he can’t do. The Iron Maiden frontman has seemingly lived a hundred lifetimes, and his book touches on as he can squeeze into 11 hours of storytelling. While there’s plenty of Maiden stories to go around, it’s worth it alone for the wit, wisdom, and of course, Bruce taking the piss out of whatever he wants. Particularly powerful is Bruce’s journey to Sarajevo in the mid-90’s – while he stepped away from Maiden, he played a show with his solo band in the middle of an active warzone (and if you really can’t be bothered to listen to a book about it, at least watch the documentary about it, absolutely fascinating). This is less of a “road antics” kind of book than some of the others on this list, but that’s just Bruce’s nature. And the Air Raid Siren absolutely delivers on the narration – if he needed a tenth career, I’d hire him to narrate all of my favorite high fantasy books…!
