What began as a deeply personal relationship breakdown has continued to evolve into a highly public, multi-platform dispute between As I Lay Dying frontman Tim Lambesis and his ex-wife Dany Ciara. The latest chapter unfolded with Ciara’s nearly four-hour appearance on the BREWtally Speaking Podcast, where she offered her most detailed account to date of her marriage to Lambesis and its collapse in late 2024. That period coincided with leaked footage, dueling public statements, and a rapid unraveling of As I Lay Dying’s then-current lineup, according to former members.
In the podcast interview, Ciara expanded on allegations of physical and emotional abuse, addressed claims previously made against her, and contextualized incidents that had circulated online without audio or explanation. She described a volatile dynamic she says escalated over time, including situations where she claims she acted defensively during physical confrontations. Ciara also presented screenshots, messages, and personal accounts she says support her version of events, while acknowledging her own decision-making and patterns within the relationship.
Following the interview’s release, Lambesis issued a public statement on Sunday (28), framing the renewed attention as a resurfacing of “old stories” tied to moments when his career regains momentum.
Lambesis expressed:
“I stayed quiet about my personal life because it wasn’t relevant to the work. I’m only speaking now because the same pattern keeps repeating. Old stories resurface only when my life and career move forward again.
I’m not interested in drama or attention. The music either stands on its own or it doesn’t.
What is difficult to ignore is when someone you moved on from long ago suddenly becomes publicly fixated right when momentum returns. That kind of timing explains itself.
Context matters. Removing it is the easiest way to manufacture a narrative, especially when platforms are willing to host one-sided stories without accountability.
I was held accountable for my past over a decade ago. Since then, my life has been public, documented, and scrutinized. If anything illegal had happened in the years since, it would have been addressed through proper channels.
This isn’t even unique. The same sequence played out with another artist, Greg Overton, following a surge of visibility after appearing on the Joe Rogan podcast. Public commentary from a former relationship followed immediately. People noticed then, just as they notice now.
Some people build things. Others only appear when there’s something to attach themselves to. In the end, it’s the work that lasts, not the noise around it.
It’s over. Time to finally move on. I’m going back to making music. I have an album to finish before the next tour.”
In addition to the slides, Lambesis stated:
“I’ve stayed quiet for a long time because the work mattered more than the noise.I’m only speaking now because silence stops being an option when old stories resurface without context.
Context matters. Online narratives don’t always reflect reality. Onward (for most of us at least) to a beautiful new year.””
It didn’t take long for Ciara to respond later on Sunday (28th), expressing via Instagram:
“Hey @timlambesis
First, the claim that you “stayed quiet” about your personal life this whole time is actually crazy. This entire last year, you have publicly slandered and lied about what happened during our marriage on Instagram and Facebook portraying yourself as the victim, accusing me of many untrue things, that directly involved me, lying and rewriting the story to salvage your image.
Second, framing my speaking now as “timing” “fixation” or “attachment” is a deflection. Attacking motive is a common way of yours to avoid engaging with substance. You’re talking about WHEN I spoke and WHY you think I spoke, but youre not actually addressing what I said. Survivors of abuse do not lose the right to tell the truth because time has passed, because the other person’s career has momentum, or because it’s inconvenient. Abuse doesn’t become “old stories” because the person who caused harm wants it buried. Sorry.
This has nothing to do with your career, your momentum, or your touring schedule. I’m speaking now because you refuse to stop lying and pretending you didn’t abuse me. I finally feel strong enough to tell the truth without fear of intimidation or silencing. Framing my speaking out around your Russian tours is manipulative and it doesn’t erase what happened or what you did.
You keep saying ” context matters”
On October 10th I texted you after seeing many of your public comments, and I called you out for your lies, suggesting that we both come forward with the truth, “l show all the evidence from my side, you show all the evidence for your side.” YOU REFUSED. Why is that? Should I show the context of everything that I talked about, and everything I didn’t talk about?
I did not “break the silence”. I spoke after many of your public statements about me had already been made. When you say “context matters” you use that word as a shield while continuing to avoid specifics. If context truly mattered to you, you would address concrete behaviors rather than implying my obsession, dishonesty, or opportunism.
“if anything illegal had happened, it would have been addressed through proper channels”?
The idea that something isn’t real unless it’s prosecuted is crazy . Most abuse never goes through the legal system, and that doesn’t erase it. Many survivors never report abuse due to fear, coercion, financial control, retaliation, or safety concerns. A lack of prosecution is not proof of innocence, and it is not a reflection of lived experience.
what exactly are you referring to that is so-called “illegal”? The screenshots of you having possession of illegal Al prnogrphy including a minor, are literally on the podcast, there’s proof of the context right there for you. Just because it wasn’t reported and you weren’t prosecuted doesn’t mean that it didn’t happen. Everything I talked about on the podcast I have proof for. Like I said. I am allowed to talk about the horrific shit that you did.
It’s also deeply hypocritical to suggest that my relationship history somehow discredits my credibility while ignoring your own. You are on your third marriage. You were convicted for attempting to have your first wife killed. You cheated on and abused your second wife. And despite all
of that, you expect people to believe that any pattern worth scrutinizing belongs only to me. Invoking my past relationships is not context. You’re deflecting.
And it doesn’t negate a single thing I actually said about YOU.
I’m aware of the scrutiny around why I married you given your history. I own my part in that. I wasn’t thinking clearly, I wasn’t healed, and I made decisions from a damaged place. That’s something I’ve been honest with myself about. What I won’t accept is the idea that my flaws somehow erase the abuse you inflicted. What is dishonest is using past relationship to imply that all of my experiences must be fabricated, in exaggerated or opportunistic. Multiple things can be true at the same time. I can acknowledge my own patterns and still be telling the truth about
what happened in our relationship.
I go into great detail on the podcast about how I’ve spent the last year reflecting on myself and my own patterns of why I continue to gravitate towards toxic relationships, I never once claimed I am a perfect victim and I never once claimed that I have not been a part of that. But once again, that does not negate the abuse that you put me through. Minimizing me talking about abuse you put me through as “noise” or to me as someone who “attached” myself to you, is another pathetic attempt to shame me speaking into silence.
I am not attaching myself to you. I am telling my story.
I existed before you, and I exist after you. You don’t get to decide when I’m allowed to speak about what happened to me. You don’t get to reframe my truth as a nuisance to your career. Your work and music does not get veto power over my voice. I spoke honestly about my experience. I’m not asking for permission, validation, or approval. I’m correcting the record and reclaiming my narrative after too much of your public distortion and lies. I’m not going to back down to you, and you’re not going to shame me into silence.”
The situation has moved beyond a single interview or statement and into an ongoing public back-and-forth, with each side maintaining their account and challenging the other’s credibility. The conflict appears to remain unresolved as it plays out in real time. However, Lambesis appears to have since moved on as his latest post focuses on As I Lay Dying who just wrapped up their European tour. Lambesis stated via the band’s social media:
“We ended our European tour with a BANG in Heerlen, Netherlands 🇳🇱
That pit was BONKERS! 🤪🤘🏻🔥 Thank you all for your love and support and infectious energy. Until next time…”
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