The last time there was any sort of legal exchange of money to posses a human being, we had a war and things turned out pretty ugly. That doesn’t to be a concern for a man who’s trying to purchase Foo Figthers frontman Dave Grohl for himself, as in giving money to someone to actually own Dave Grohl.
A Texas resident named and radio DJ Frank Pain says that he’s the Foo Fighters’ biggest fan in the world and decided to get some exclusivity from Dave Grohl by purchasing him, setting up a crowdfunding page to get the money. Who is the money going to go? we’re not sure and neither is he but he explained his idea on his GoFundme by saying:
Hi, I’m Frank Pain. I’d like to buy Dave Grohl. Yes, that dude that’s in the Foo Fighters and was in Nirvana.
I’m his biggest fan and figured I can round up enough scratch to purchase him so we can hang out and high five and shit. Heck, I may give him a bro-hug or two as well.
I’m not 100% the amount I’m asking for will buy him. Hell, I’m not even sure if it’s legal to purchase another human being without being some central part of a 20/20 tv special. But, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to try, right?
Since everyone has their hands out these days, I thought I’d join the party – primarily because I don’t have that kind of scratch.
If it is indeed illegal to purchase another human (or if Mr. Grohl isn’t a willing purchasee) then I’ll spend the money on beer because Dave seems like the kind of person that would want me to drink beer.
If you donate, I’ll send you a cool text message that includes some emojis that no one understands.
Pain is looking to get $35,000 and, as of the moment of this writing, he’s raised $303 from other Grohl fans intrigued by the idea. We’re not sure if Grohl is aware of Pain’s plan but knowing him the way we do out of the frequency we write about him, we’re sure there will be an epic reaction from him. Now, we’re just going to wait and see what the outcome of this will be.
— Radio 104.5 (@Radio1045) May 3, 2016