The Big 4: Obviously The Perfect Festival For Satan Lovers

Posted by on April 22, 2011

After giving an “insightful” evaluation of the Coachella Festival, ChristWire has taken aim at this weekend’s Big 4 U.S. show. The site gives a full in-depth report to explain how the festival “devil music to open a portal in the listeners mind to invite the dark lord of soul raping into their bodies.” They first analyze how Metallica, Slayer, Megadeth and Anthrax’s names are “conductors of Satan.” Then they use graphics to showcase how murder and anal sex/gothic gangbangs are the main activities occurring at the one day festival. Looks like there’s going to be a lot of analsex at the Big 4 show according to the bar graph.

Though seriously, c’mon! As if we need a music festival as an excuse to conduct gothic gang bangs and murders (oh heads up, tonight’s blood orgy is being moved to Bram’s basement. Check the Facebook event page for more info). But we digress. You can see ChristWire’s hysterical full report online.

Anyway, in case you want the real scoop on what tomorrow’s Big 4 show really means to the metal community, check out the first, second, and third installments of our Big Foreplay special. We asked a lot of musicians and industry names (including Jamey Jasta, Metal Blade founder Brian Slagel, GWAR’s Dave Brockie, and many others) to tell us who out of the Big 4 means the most to them. So check out their responses, and happy Satan Day!


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