Drummers, they’re a dime a dozen, right? Maybe that’s why a St. Louis punk band are trying to have theirs killed, and are looking for help from you. Punk veterans Without Mother Fucking Order set up a GoFundMe page seeking only $100 to have their drummer, Crash, euthanized via a death machine. Sadly, the page has already been taken down, but they’d wanted to have him decapitated. Here’s what the band said:

Crash has gotten so old, that we at Without Mother Fucking Order Industries have decided it’s best he be euthanized. We have waited 16 years for him to die of old age, but recently discovered that he is a Highlander much like Connor MacLeod, and the only way he can die is by decapitation.

“We tried to cut his head off with a sword,” singer Captain Perverto told the Riverfront Times, “but everyone at W.M.F.O.I. are a bunch of nerds who only have those cheap Samurai replicas.” As you can see below, they included an illustration of the decapitation machine on the now-vanished crowdfunding page. There’s no word on whether the band raised their $100 before the page was taken down. They did, however, get a bunch of press for a funny stunt and make a subtle commentary about the glut of crowdfunding projects. And hey, if some dude can make $55,000 with a potato salad recipe, stranger things have happened.

head-ripping-machine

 

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Bram Teitelman