Five Finger Death Punch frontman Ivan Moody is walking back his surprise retirement announcement

In a series of Instagram Live videos totaling more than two-and-a-half hours (which was compiled into one video here), Moody expressed his feelings and reversed his decision, claiming that he is not retiring because metal is all he knows. 

Moody starts out by explaining his initial statement, saying that having his kids at the show sparked something in him that prompted the impromptu decision. Said the singer (as transcribed by The Prp),

“So that night, I saw Nova, and Ivan Jr. and something in my heart — much like the Grinch — grew ten sizes bigger, and I had this moment of clarity, that everything that I had done up until that moment was a prelude to a kiss. That moment I got offstage… both of my kids came to me in tears — especially Nova. And she asked me why I would do something like that, because music is all I’ve ever had…

When I got back to my dressing room that night, my phone… My god, it was like a warzone. Now again mind you… I didn’t really tell Zoltan [Bathory, Five Finger Death Punch guitarist]. I had mentioned it a few times that I was getting to a point where I thought we needed some time off.”

Following a long, heartfelt discussion about life and music, Moody apologized for his rash statement, saying,

“I really sat back the last few days and took it all in. And I first off want to apologize. I do. I apologize. I apologize because music’s all I’ve got, and I don’t think, for one, my kids would respect me in the long run if I quit doing what got me here. I don’t think my friends would talk to me. Obviously they didn’t text me, not the ones I was hoping for.

My bandmates deserve better. Zoltan deserves my heart and has earned my respect time and time again. He may as well be my blood. You deserve the best, there is no question about that.”

He continued by saying how much metal music has been a part of his life and that without it a part of him would die. 

“I can’t quit. I can’t. I’m not. To be quite honest with you, I think I’d die. Maybe not physically die, my but soul would fucking definitely fade, and I didn’t come here for that. There is a fucking fire inside of me that will never go out. Music and heavy metal are all I’ve ever had, all I’ve ever known. I was designed by it. When all the rest of the world kept betting against me — underdog, day after day after day — I found solace and sanctuary in bands like Metallica and Pantera, Alice In Chains, Danzig… The list goes on and on.

It fed me what I needed when I needed without question, unconditional love. I can’t say that for anything else on this fucking planet, [aside from] kids of course…”

The new statement comes two weeks after Moody made his initial retirement announcement on stage during a show in Denver, CO. Flanked by his son and daughter on either side of him, the singer told the crowd, 

“The last 15 years of my life I have toured the world, I have seen every country, every city on this planet at least twice—That’s a fact. And through that time as many of you parents know—hard workers—I have missed a lot of time with my kiddos. So I made them a deal today, and I’m going to stick to it. After this year, I am going to make one more Five Finger Death Punch album and then I am retiring from heavy metal… You, I owe you everything, Colorado, Five Finger Death Punch and every knucklehead on this planet, thank you.”

“I ain’t going anywhere. I’m not,” concludes Moody’s statement, saying that he will be calling both Zoltan and his children to explain himself. “I owe you. I owe me. I owe everything that I’ve ever stood for. Maybe I was a little bit impulsive…”

“I hope you’ll all forgive me for rambling and taking this on…”

Five Finger Death Punch released their latest album, ‘Afterlife,’ in August. The band will be heading out on the road for a fall tour with Brantley Gilbert starting November 9. Tour dates can be found here.