Snorre Ruch & General Gribbsphiiser, Reported Missing

2025 has been a rather disastrous year for black metal, and Slagmaur’s Hulders Ritual proved the only thing that could have saved it. This masterpiece is truly too fantastic for human ears. As such, this triumph, which seems to have been pushed back to 2026, deserves all the media attention it can get. It is an absolute must-have for all life forms — humans, extraterrestrials, and mythical beings. The legendary Mr. Snorre Ruch of Thorns, the co-architect of the black metal style of riffing as well as a close friend and accomplice of Slagmaur, of course, lent his expertise to this sensational instant classic.

When he and General Gribbsphiiser of Slagmaur, my two favorite musical hooligans, were “reported missing” on Thursday, the whole metal world went into a state of severe shock. And may I admit: Never in all of my time as a journalist have I been so afraid. What could be more catastrophic? The news seemed even more heartbreaking in juxtaposition with the heartwarming photo that Gribbsphiiser posted of the pair before heading out with the message, “Face your demons…” Ruch and the General brought camera equipment, which we assumed would be used for a photo shoot, so we knew that their little “boys’ trip” had been meant to serve an important purpose, regardless of whatever might have gone wrong. (Yes, the General, a man of many-many talents and tricks up his sleeve, is a phenomenal photographer and filmmaker, and Fosen Folket informed readers that Ruch also possesses a similar skill set.)

In order to increase support for search efforts, venerable figures from Dagur Gíslason of Misþyrming to leading photographer NecrosHorns to the infallible The True Mayhem Collection helped spread the word of the terrible disappearance. Thus, top media sources like Metal Injection, MetalSucks, and the fine folks here sought to spread awareness of this story, which became the number one trending item at some outlets. After all, only a cretin would refrain from doing what they could in hopes of bringing music’s finest home safely and quickly. Concerns, as dangerous weather conditions and the disappearance of a third person, and elderly woman, made us punch the wall in frustration. I personally must say that the unexpected silence on the matter from the esteemed label and voice of reason Terratur Possessions, whose history is intimately linked to Slagmaur’s, could have served as a “clue” that would have calmed my nerves, yet it did no such thing.

The curious fact was clearly observable that the outstanding photos on Fosen Folket’s site all seemed to be from the General himself, but who could possibly be a better news photographer? No one. Thus, I naturally assumed the General worked for Fosen Folket but didn’t believe he might also be one of the writers pulling the strings there. And stranger yet, it eventually came to our attention that one of the forces at work behind Fosen Folket is none other than the deceased “Harry Håndane,” or Mr. Houdini. But no matter — who thinks to read “Om oss” pages anyway and learn the identities of the journalists doing the reporting?!

It has now been confirmed by the General that he and his team both designed and filled Fosen Folket with content, including factual accounts, intended to resemble the ways and workings of the real local newspaper Fosna Folket. All the photographs on the entire Fosen Folket site are indeed of the General’s own creation with staging in collaboration with local Red Cross, fire department and civil defense — all parties involved were in on the master plan and wanted to create a long lasting story! Mission beautifully accomplished!

We, of course, can only send our kudos to Fosen Folket for their tireless reporting on all the fascinating developments that came to light throughout the course of the search for Mr. Ruch and the General. As time went by, we had to applaud in wonder at just how successfully the General and Ruch displayed their brilliance in regard to their ability to expand upon local lore. Life truly resembles art, and, under inspection, the themes that one could take away from the recent happenings in Fosen only seem to weave together with Hulders Ritual more and more. In addition, our already burning hot desire to see Slagmaur’s teased documentary on the “Cursed, Scarred and Forever Possessed” forest of Varghiet became absolutely unbearable as a result of the mysterious events.

After so much chaos, it is with great pleasure that we announce that Mr. Ruch and the General are safe and sound. Here is the latter’s eloquent message —

“Slagmaur – Hulders Ritual – Statement

Slagmaur Hulders Ritual draws heavily from old Norwegian folklore about being bergtatt — abducted by the hidden folk.
You have just witnessed an artistic experiment wrapped inside a true-crime mystery, born from an operation that has been in planning for six years.

This has also been a social experiment.
In an age where fake news is more relevant than ever, the time was right to let one of the central elements of Hulders Ritual come to life as an illusion — a piece of stage magic designed to test both perception and storytelling.
It is not just a promotional trick; it is a part of the product itself, and an essential piece of the experience of the entire release.

It has also been a study in literature and psychology — how a master stage magician constructs an illusion, and how the human mind interprets a perfectly engineered trick.

We also wanted to show that in a world dominated by artificial intelligence, human creativity still reigns supreme.
This stunt stands as proof of that, and we hope it will inspire future generations to keep alive a genre that too often becomes streamlined and domesticated.
We’re not getting any younger, and many of you — just like us — have dedicated large parts of your lives to one thing: black metal.

When Operation Master of Deceptions went live at 17:04 on Thursday, it exploded virally across the world. With millions of views and tens of thousands engaged users on our site within hours.

A massive thank-you to Fosen Fire & Rescue, the Norwegian Civil Defence, and the Red Cross, who provided resources and volunteered during parts of this production — much of it during Hurricane Amy and the extreme weather that followed.

We also extend a big thanks to everyone in the know who managed to keep the lid on this story for so long.

A special thank-you goes to our fans — and an even bigger one to the haters who couldn’t keep their mouths shut.
Every meltdown, every angry rant, every “I figured it out” post did exactly what we wanted — it fed the machine.
Your outrage carried our story further than any paid promotion ever could.
You tried to ruin the ritual, but instead you became the ritual.

Thank you for being part of the greatest black metal social experiment ever —
and the most successful musical promotion campaign of the 21st century.

– General Gribbsphiiser”