Well, now that the dust has settled and the Seattle Seahawks have thoroughly embarrassed the Denver Broncos, it’s time to concentrate on the most important part of the game – the commercials. In a batch that, at least to us, seemed less inspired than previous years, at least some degree of metal, albeit from the ’70s and ’80s, was represented.

The first ad to feature anything heavy came during the first quarter in an ad for Beats Music. The ad featured Ellen DeGeneres, a Beats spokesperson, in a variation on ‘Goldilocks and the Three Bears.’ The talk show host is trying to find music to dance to, and the first song she listens to is from ‘Papa’s’ iPhone. It’s Black Sabbath’s “Paranoid,” and she finds it “too fast.” Yeah, that’s right, Black Sabbath is totally dad rock. We get it Beats and Ellen.

The real winner, and probably one of the best commercials of the night, was Radio Shack’s commercial. The electronics company definitely got the memo that their brand is viewed as a relic from another time. Two workers get a call from the ’80s, and as Loverboy’s “Working for the Weekend” plays, the store’s invaded by ’80s icons including Alf, Hulk Hogan, the California Raisins, Mary Lou Retton and Twisted Sister’s Dee Snider. Snider gleefully trashes the store, much the way the Broncos were already getting trashed by the Seahawks.


And finally, girls toy company Goldie Blox, fresh from being sued by the surviving Beastie Boys for using their song “Girls” in an ad, decided to switch to a version of “Cum On Feel the Noize,” which was originally done by Slade, but made famous by Quiet Riot. Girls singing “come on bring your toys” to demonstrate that girls’ toys don’t all have to be pink is a nice, empowering message. Goldie Blox was the winner of Intuit’s “Small Business, Big Game” contest, which is what got them in.