Alesana Baby-Naming Epidemic Sweeps Nation’s Youth

Posted by on January 15, 2010

North Carolina screamo band Alesana claims to have encountered as many as four mentally ill Americans who have named their children after the band. Which is good, because as nice as regrettable band tattoos are, they don’t also make noise.

Alesana fans aren’t getting those too, are they?

“Three of our biggest fans are military metal dudes who come to every show we play in North Carolina,” Milke said. “They all got Alesana tattoos, and they love every single second of our music! We have a wide range of fans, and it’s not just young kids. We even have fans who are adults with families.”

oh no.

It’s going to be so rewarding for the parents of all these little Alesanas when the children are old enough to start going to concerts on their own, and the musical genre that inspired their namesake is still alive and well.



Categorised in: Regrettable Life Decisions