10 Things Ozzy Has And Hasn’t Done In the Last Few Weeks

Posted by on June 14, 2010

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5YJ8lPvmRI&feature=player_embedded#![/youtube]It’s been one hell of a few weeks for Ozzy. With Scream coming out June 22nd, it seems like the Prince of Darkness has been putting in overtime between the promotional activity and the awards he’s been given. We here at Metal Insider are amazed at how active Ozzy has been and are pleased to bring you the top 10 things Ozzy has done over the last few weeks… and another 10 things we think he’s been slacking on.

1. On June 11th, Ozzy attempted a Guinness world record for the longest and loudest scream with the crowd at Dodgers Stadium. The event was to raise money for ThinkCure!, which raises money for cancer research. We don’t know if he broke the record, but check out the video above.

2. Ozzy’s Genetic Code to be Mapped
After survivng 40 years of substance abuse, the NY Daily News is reporting that Knome, an American genomics company, will use a blood sample from Ozzy to map his genome. Ozzy is officially a medical oddity- and he’s put this to use a few slots lower on our illustrious list.

3. Ozzy-The Next Hemingway?
The crème de la crème of Ozzy’s recent achievements has to be his recent Literary Achievement Award for his autobiography I Am Ozzy. Nothing about this makes any sense, but its brilliant press if you look at it that way. To me the best part of Ozzy’s award is that Sir Ben Kingsley presented it to him. Nothing like getting an award from Gandhi.

4. Paging Dr. Ozzy
As if winning an award for his autobiography wasn’t enough, Dr. Osbourne will be the guest columnist for The Sunday Times. I laughed at first, but considering the man competes with Nikki Sixx and Keith Richards in the ‘they should have been dead _ years ago” category, who better to know how to live a long life than Ozzy (especially since his genes are being studied to understand how he’s still alive)

5. The Ozzy Osbourne Development Award
For a guy that was dyslexic as a child and had poor grades, this is pretty ironic and kick-ass at the same time. The Ozzy Osbourne Development Award will be handed to the student at England’s Birmingham City University who has made the most progress in the BA Media and Communications degree, or music industry classes.

6. Wax Sculpture – or Ozzy?
While in NY, Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne visited the famous Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum to hilarious. It worked as a clever play on the new album title and a way of scaring annoying tourists at the same time.

7. Ozzy Gets Called Into Duty
On June 8th Ozzy was busy fighting off fans on Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2- which I can’t imagine went all that well.

8. ‘Unholy Matrimony VIP Package’
Need we say more? Get married at Ozzfest by Big Dave complete with your own Ozzfest cake. Nothing says “I love you” like “Let Me Hear You Scream.”

9. A Very Ozzy Christmas
Like the Black Sabbath Reunion that was hinted at, a Christmas album and movie are not set in stone- but it still looks questionable. Only time will tell, but I do expect a Chanukah album if the rumors are true.

10. Reissues-With the Original Musicians?!
It was revealed that there are going to be 30th anniversary editions of 1980’s Blizzard of Ozz and 1981’s Diary of a Madman coming out over the next two years. That’s pretty much to be expected for albums of this caliber and importance, but the deluxe editions will restore the original bass and drum tracks of Bob Daisley and Lee Kerslake, respectively.

Needless to say it’s been a busy few weeks for the Ozzman, but with all the good he’s doing, from raising money for cancer to scaring NYC tourists, we couldn’t help but notice Ozzy could be doing more, as noted by the 10 things Ozzy HASN’T done in the past few weeks:

1. Ozzy has not fixed the BP oil spill in the gulf.

2. Ozzy has not done a triple lindy.

3. Ozzy probably hasn’t hung out at his daughter’s house, which is filled with sewage.

4. Ozzy hasn’t found a cure for asthma, diabetes, AIDS or the common cold.

5. Ozzy hasn’t been able to be funnier than Jim Breuer and Jimmy Fallon’s dueling impressions of him.

6. Ozzy hasn’t tied with the U.S. in World Cup Soccer action.

7. Hasn’t joined the cast for the new season of True Blood. At least we hope not.

8. Ozzy did not make an appearance as a special guest of Jay Z at the Bonaroo Festival this past weekend.

9. Ozzy did not bite the head off of anything.

10. Ozzy has not solved the Israel/Palestine conflict, nor has he effectively disarmed North Korea.


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