This year at GWARBQ 2015, we teamed up with WSOU’s Brian Uzzo to ask some hard-hitting questions of our murderous alien overlords, and managed to escape without being horribly murdered. GWAR lead guitarist Pustulus Maximus tolerated us long enough to deal some dirt on the future of GWARBQ, the band’s restaurant, the secrets buried in Hadad’s Lake, and a surprise announcement for his candidacy as President of the United States:
Nick: Hey there, Metal Insider here with the mighty GWAR!
Ugh, you again!
Brian: Yes, we talked earlier this week.
N: If you can’t tell, we’re here with Pustulus Maximus.
The best one!
N: Of course! So, GWARBQ, a big event that just keeps getting bigger.
Yeah, should be real big.
N: Should we expect any surprises this year?
I’m just not gonna play.
N: Not at all?
Nah! Fuck it, I’m just gonna fuckin’ leave. Surprise, joke’s on you, you suck!
B: Last time we talked, we talked about the GWARBAR. So, I had the food last night after the B4BQ, I ate a meat sandwich and the Bacon Executioner. What’s your favorite thing to eat at the GWARBAR?
Gor-Gor Eggs, definitely. It’s the shit, man!
B: Speaking of Gor-Gor, will we be seeing him today?
Never. Never again. Fuck him to death! Nah, you’ll see Gor-Gor again, just not today.
B: Well, who do you expect to battle onstage later tonight?
Man, I’m not fuckin’ fighting anybody! I let the other guys do all that shit, then I come in at the last minute and take all the fuckin’ credit, that’s the way to do it. That’s a true warrior right there.
N: Well, this is the long-standing location for GWARBQ with all this debauchery and madness, so I guess you’d know best: is there any buried treasure at the bottom of the lake?
Oh man, none that you’d want to find. Probably some 12 year olds, shit like that. Kids that never came home, you know? “Ran away?” Yeah.
N: Who do you want to decapitate the most that you haven’t already?
Christina Aguilera, definitely Donald Trump, Hilary Clinton for sure, and pretty much every Senator in the South.
N: Fair enough. Speaking of which, are you pulling for anyone to win the presidential election?
Yeah, me of course!
N: I should have guessed. Pustulus for president, then, are we doing this?
I’m not signing up, I don’t have any fuckin’ corporate sponsorships, so I’m just gonna be a write-in! Pustulus Maximus, 2016.
N: You heard it here first, folks! Let’s get the rumor mills turning.
I can’t be any worse than what you guys have already had for the last 16 years!
B: Absolutely. So if you had to pick another singer for GWAR besides Blothar, who would it be…you?
I mean, who else?
B: I was just thinking the other day that Mick Thompson would be a cool guy to have in the band. He’s a big guy and he’s built like you dudes.
McDonalds? Yeah, the restaurant itself is going to be in the band! Not Ronald, just the fuckin’ store. It’d be hard to tour with, but we’ll eat good! Mick Thompson would look good wearing some dinosaur skulls, I think.
N: This is a pretty important question, maybe the most out of anything I could ask you. There’s a lot of bands on the bill this weekend, but how many of them could you take in a fight at once?
Probably all of them, except maybe one. I could take them all individually, but Goatwhore’s got a lot of spikes, so I think at once? Everyone but Goatwhore.
N: So, we asked readers to come up with some hard-hitting questions for you, and the best I got was: Where do babies come from?
B: Do you ever plan to take the GWARBQ anywhere else?
We’re just gonna leave it here. This is a lot of shit to move! I don’t really like moving shit. So you can look forward to being in a debaucherous water park, I mean, where else can you go see chicks in bikinis at a heavy metal show? GWARBQ, man!
B: What about a Rush show?
B: Yeah man, you didn’t know?
Really? Are you serious?
B: No, not even a little bit.
Shit man, for five seconds there I really wanted to go see a Rush concert and you ruined it. Hate ‘em now.
N: Well, thanks for taking some time to chat with us.
Fly by night away from here!