starbuckssatanCoffee chain behemoth Starbucks was forced to apologize to a Louisiana schoolteacher after she ordered two coffee drinks that came adorned with a Pentagram and a “666” drawn in the foam. Teacher Megan Pinion posted a photo on Starbucks’ Facebook page and was outraged that the two coffees had the mark of Satan on them. Actually, according to her comment, she wasn’t that offended by the Pentagram, since there are stars in the company’s vaguely Satanic logo. The 666, on the other hand, was an obvious tribute to the man downstairs. “I unfortunately can’t give the young man’s name who served it,because I was so appalled that I could not bring myself to look at him,” she said in the post. I am in now way judging his beliefs or die-meriting his beautiful artwork, I am however judging his lack of professionalism and respect for others.”

Starbucks, for their part, told the Daily Advertiser that they apologized via social media. “We’re taking the complaint seriously,” Starbucks social media team spokesman Tom Kuhn said. “We’re not sure who served her or what kind of beverage it was. It looks kind of caramel-ish in the photos.” The company’s official statement said “We have sincerely apologized for her experience. This obviously is not the type of experience we want to provide any of our customers, and is not representative of the customer service our partners provide to millions of customers every day.”

Essentially, this means that somewhere in Louisiana, there’s a Satan-loving barista. And while Pinion, as a Christian, had every right to be offended by her coffee art, just about any metal fan would have probably tipped the guy extra. Hail Starbucks!

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Bram Teitelman